wake-up & makeup...my 5 minute morning makeup routine

Here's a popular scenario in my household (and when I say popular I'm really saying this happens every damn day without fail): at least one of my kids is wailing because her sister got to use the Frozen spoon and she didn't, my house looks like Barnum Baileys Circus resurrected in the middle of my living room, I'm trying to conduct a semi-human conversation with my sister on FaceTime, and my dog just yakked up on the white shag rug for the third time in one morning...and if you have any experience with that sort of regurgitation on shag...you know it's time to wave the white flag. SOOOOO...I'm pretty sure we're all on the same page on this one: ain't nobody got time for some long ass, drawn out, morning makeup routine. BUT, we ARE all striving to look and feel somewhat put together as to convince ourselves we'll survive another day in our current shitty trench. Take heed my fellow warriors, below is my 5 minute wake-up and makeup morning routine. At this point, I can do this in my sleep...so there's a good chance YOU GOT THIS too!

1. CC Cream- My top picks for a tinted SPF cream are Supergoop's mineralize cc cream and IT's CC+ cream. I squeeze a nickel size glob on my hand, rub my fingers together and apply to my entire face in circular motions. I even apply to the eye area (tres taboo, je sais!) My tone is instantly transformed and my skin in prepped for the makeup hard hitters to come. Magnifique!
2. Concealer- if there's one quick fix for any sort of skin imperfection, it's concealer aka my very best, best, bestiest friend in the whole wide world. I'm obsessed with MAC's mineralize concealer because its moisturizing as well. You don't want to use a concealer that's drying, especially under your eyes or you may end up looking more worse for wear than when you started. I use concealer all over my face... I start by drawing cute little ice cream cones around each eye, then I cover the broken capillaries around my nose and lastly, I highlight the top of my nose, top of my brow bone and my cupids bow. Blend thoroughly with a wet sponge (I love Sephora's beauty blender) or even easier use your finger tips. Wait, did I mention to blend? And then blend some more. Ok, now you can stop. Nice job, high-fives!
3. Blush- and here comes my favorite part. Ladies, grab your blush brushes, swirly-whirly, twisty-twirly in your fave blush palette and start strobing those cheeks... the more eager beaver the better. Nothing screams, I MADE IT ANOTHER DAY IN THE SWAMPS OF NO SLEEP HELL, than some aggressive punches of pink to your face. If you know me, then you most definitely can attest that I live and die by these rules. The following are two shades I swear by: NARS' Orgasm and MAC's peachykeen. Both tones are complementary on most complexions. 
4. Eyeshadow- this step is optional...when I've had an extra cup of coffee and I'm striving for overachievement early in the day, I reach for a neutral colored eyeshadow. Let me break this down... My name is Megan, I'm a Sagittarius and...I. Have. Veiny. Eyelids. Wah, life's tough so I lighten my load by applying a matte eyeshadow to even out the skin tone on my lids. For the past 8 years, I've religiously used MAC's shadow in Brule. I take my big eyeshadow brush and spread Brule from brow line to lash line. GOOD TO KNOW: MAC has a "back to MAC" recycling program and with each 6 beauty containers you return, you can choose a free lipgloss or eye shadow. I'm convinced, I haven't paid for one "Brule" in half a decade.
5. Mascara- for many of you, this is the most important step for a well-rounded, get-out-the-door beauty regimen. Mascara completes a look and sort of brings everything together.  Many of us are light-haired (ahem...I may have a little bit of help in that department) and that probably means our lashes are fair too. Personally speaking, without the magic of mascara, you might as well look at my face and say "where the fuck are your eyes?" The silver lining here is: there are so many promising options for mascara these days, it's almost hard to go wrong. But I SWEAR BY two: Lancome defencils, which has been around since before I was born and is still going strong, and MAC's false lashes. These two picks are infallible mostly because they have really good brushes and an easily buildable formula.  NOTE: Do not pump your lash brush in and out of tube fast and furiously, that will only dry out the formula and you'll have to replace it sooner. 
6. Lipgloss- the final touch to a winning look is the lipgloss. This can really come in any form... lipstick, gloss, Blistex, Carmax, Vaseline, Neosporin, Butt Paste, (that may be a little desperate but hey! some times we're ALL a little, A LOT desperate!) Whatever balm you have laying around the ol' bathroom sink, will do just fine here. No judgements. If I wanted to get picky, I'd choose MAC's cremesheen in BOYBAIT, or their cremesheen in FASHION SCOOP, or seriously, I'd just take a page out of my sister's book and apply chapstick. When it comes to lips...I'm an au natural kind of girl.

I know, I know, this all seems slightly laborious. But I swear it's easier done than read about. Having your go-tos on stand-by, will make this process less daunting. And once you practice a few times, it basically becomes muscle memory...that's almost scientifically proven. Now if I could only muster up some muscle memory doing other tasks...i.e. putting together anything from IKEA, reading a historical novel, reading any sort of novel instead of compulsively staring at my iPhone, folding my daughter's onesie pajamas, butterflying chicken breasts, flossing my teeth, cutting crusts off a sandwich...I could go on and on and ON but you get it...we're all in the same gloriously heavy, but beautiful boat. Hopefully, this quick morning makeup routine, will make you feel a little more human when life comes knocking at the door. 

but first...coffee