pre-event rituals
True Story: It was my freshman year at Fordham University and as extreme poor luck would have it, I got stuck in an 8am philosophy class with a carbon copy of the teacher from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I was dressed in a baggy sweatshirt, a messy topknot and my eye balls were still basically sealed shut. After the bell rang, in walked one of my future good friends Stu. During that first week in philosophy 101, we sat at the back of the class together and exchanged a few muffled hellos. On the weekend, my new "very best friends" from college and I got all jazzed up and went out to one of the hottest spots the Boogie Down Bronx had to offer: Alumni Bar "where hot pants, Camel cigs and rum and cokes were a dime a dozen." Clearly, my new classmate Stu was also well-versed in the newest edition of Fordham's Zagats, because he and his friends were already there! He quickly shimmied up to my posse and started a totally cool conversation. It was weird though, he was acting like we'd never met. When he asked me my name, it was clear that, holy shit sticks, he didn't recognize me from class. From that point on, I quickly discovered my knack for making the ordinary extraordinary... one blowout and teeth whitener at a time. Below are my "pre-event" rituals that I have perfected over the past two decades... so you too can be unrecognizable???
A WEEK BEFORE THE BIG EVENT CONSIDER:
- hair color/cut... service your hair a week or two before the big event so it ends up just the way you like it. To this day, I have never gotten a haircut that I'm like "damn, I love this" the first day. Or "I'm so obsessed with this color." My hair preference sweet spot usually occurs a few washes and blowouts later.
- a facial... now girl, please promise me you'll never book a facial a day or two or even three prior to a big moment. You never know how your skin is going to react to a certain product or instrument, even if it seems completely benign. Hormones, stress, LIFE, KARMA, WHATEVER! can throw all kinds of things out of whack, namely your skin. So do yourself a favor... schedule that facial at least a week out and don't worry, you'll still be knocking 'em dead with your face's radiance in weeks to come.
- waxing... Whether you're just going in for an eyebrow clean-up or you're daring to bare all in the nether regions, please do this well ahead of schedule. Again hormones, products, stress can play a big role in how your skin reacts to the wax. I have a tendency to get really red and bumpy and I'm prone to ingrown hairs. These inconveniences need some time to work themselves out. I swear by Benefit Salons, where they have seriously talented aestheticians and gentle, yet fast, and effective waxing techniques. They advise not indulging in a major sweat session for hours before and after a wax session and refraining from wearing tight pants... welp! In that case, I'm in the clear for any day of the year.
- eyebrow and/or lash tint... I don't care how light I intend to go with my brows- when dying them I always come out looking like Barbara Walters on an upcoming special of 60 Minutes for at least the first week. Heed my advice on this one... don't do this last minute... no matter what.
THE WEEK OF:
- polish those pearly whites... people always comment on how white my teeth are. I have never gotten them professionally whitened. Instead I head on over to my local CVS (or wherever), pick up some Crest Whitestrips (and some peanut butter M&Ms) and get on with my day. White teeth are my secret weapon. When your smile looks clean and bright, people take notice.
- get a tan... if that's your thing. This should be done, ideally, two days before the big event so you have some time to correct any errors that occur. I recommend an airbrush tan. I mean, yes, it's a little weird to be standing in the buff in front of someone who's blasting a tanning gun at your naked body- but hey, it's all in the name of beauty right? "Hang on, while I lift my right breast off my belly button... ok, you can spray now." How about some abs or cleavage? You can request that too and your professional tanner won't even flinch. Also, many places offer a vegan, toxic-free airbrush tan which is good if you intend on licking your own skin.
- break out those face masks... now is a good time to freshen up your facial with a mask routine. Check out my step-by-step guide HERE. A proper mask routine can add a much needed gleam and ensure extreme spiffiness in preparation for any make up to come.
THE DAY BEFORE/ THE DAY OF:
- get that hair blown out girl... or do it yourself- whatever floats your boat. Just make sure to scrub the bejeezus out of your hair and only condition the ends. This way your new do will appear fresh, non greasy and smell sweet. I am not usually a heavy "product" girl when it comes to my weekly blowout- however, when I'm getting styled for a special event I throw all caution to the wind and am willing to squeeze just about anything into my hair.
- shave day! Hop in the shower, exfoliate and get shaving. Cue sobs from women around the world. UGHHHHHH... it's exhausting even thinking about this but listen ladies, I'm not asking you to shave for your husbands, okay?... Just for all the random people you might bump into at the party!
- keep up a hearty skincare routine... refer back to my blog post HERE on skincare 101. Wash your face well, exfoliate, apply serum, eye cream and moisturizer so your skin is perfectly prepped before putting on "your face."
- choose your makeup wisely... last night, I wore a foundation which I THOUGHT looked fab walking out the door. Now that my beer goggles are slowly slipping off, I've had a chance to scrutinize the previous night's photos... yep, heavy foundation was a bad mistake. My face looked super cakey- perfect for emulating one of Madame Tussaud's wax figures; less perfect as a walking advertisement for bun on the run beauty. This does not mean you shouldn't wear foundation. Perfecting your skin with the right makeup base and texture is the most important step in looking your best. But just don't go overboard. I always say, don't veer too off course from your daily make up routine even for a big event. If you want to add eye liner and maybe a bolder lip then go for it. And if you know me, then you know how I feel about blush (I like it a loooooooot). Also, it's safe to add a couple extra coats of mascara for good measure. And you CANNOT forget to wear primer to ensure your makeup stays put! (Blog post to come on specific products I use for a big event)
- keep the bloat at bay... My current addiction to La Croixs is real... like a 6-pack a day real! But for flat tummy purposes, keep your swigging of these carbonated gems at a minimum before attempting to squeeze your thighs into a pair of Spanx or skinny jeans. Also try and stay away from pizza, greasy foods, certain fruits and veggies, indulging overly chatty people, and chewing gum like it might make you cool- you know, basically anything that makes you gassy or retain water!
- pump up your jams, sing horribly awesome at the top of your lungs, and get out there kid!!!
An aside to keep me honest: It's not like I do all of these things every single time I have a night out. I reserve these rituals for the truly extraordinary. If I'm keeping it real here... even when my practice seems foolproof, there's always some domestic category 1 catastrophe happening at the time. With the best of intentions, I have been known to walk out of the house with two different earrings, a dust of the rose too much, and a poppy seed stuck between my two front teeth... but c'est la vie... act the part and you are the part.
These pictures were from behind the scenes at a Juliska video/photo shoot. At the towering height of 5'5 and the tender age of 36; I'm making my modeling and acting debut... or I just have a great friend and neighbor who gave me the hook up! Needless to say, when I received the call of duty... you better believe I used every single beauty ritual mentioned above. Stay ready girls!
